It's a shame the depths to which this nation has fallen. As a nation that once proudly claimed itself to be "One nation, under God, Indivisible", possessing a nature of justice and righteousness, we now reject the sovereignty of the very God, for whose worship this country was founded. Now, instead of allowing those who DON'T believe in God, or choose not to espouse any particular tenets of faith to excercise their rights to agree to disagree, they have made it a personal quest to stomp our love an affection for our God from the public square. They say that one's belief in God is a private matter, and in the privacy of home and church is where the expressions of those believes are to remain. However, as one of faith, I know that in order to truly have love for God, you have to display it everywhere... anywhere. The thing is, as God is removed from being endoresed in the public arena... it's only a matter of time before the expression of God, even in private regards, is prohibited... That means no outward confessions on your desk at work (christian paraphenalia, pictures or music), possibly getting pulled over in your car for listening to Gospel Music, the removal of Christian programming on television (which is already underway). God has for so long, favored this nation.. now that we turn from him, is it any surprise that we feel more vulnerable than ever, now that we've attempted to remove ourselves from the cover of the wings of our God? Think about it.

Maybe I'm naive... silly in fact for believing in happy endings, but hope is the only thing I have left to keep me going. I've been saddened and depressed of late, for the sole fact that I wonder if life is going to work out the way that it does in the story books. You know, happily ever after. I'm forced to believe that if I serve God that it will, but I'm also stuck with the thought that it won't. I feel that I'm a catalyst... the instrument used to bring happiness, or at least the instrument used to bring the PATH to happiness for others, all at the expense of my own. And worst of it all, I'm obligated to carry this burden on my own. I don't want to anymore... it's a heavy weight... and I'm tired. I don't even need anyone to carry it for me, just need someone to be there and tell me that it'll be alright. You'd think that that was a simple request... So why is it that that has been the ONE thing my life has lacked. I mean I've HAD someone in my past, but that's just it... it's in the past. I want the wife, car, house, and kids. I don't mind working to get it, but I'm forced to believe at this moment that there's some aspect of me that's contrary to my being loved... Really loved. Not infatuation. I can impress a girl, but it seems that keeping one is the hard part. I almost wish I was back in 2000, with the mindset that I don't need a woman, and I don't want a woman. It would have simplified matters immensely right now. Maybe things would be different. Maybe not, but at least I could deal with the lonliness I feel at present.